A Knight of Shreds and Patches Transcript
Season 3 Episode 30: Define the Relationship
Transcript by Cameron Robertson
Intro:
[hurdy gurdy music begins]
Nick: Welcome, listeners, to A Knight of Shreds and Patches. An immersive actual play podcast. This episode features the talents of –
Penn: Penn Van Batavia as Marathon Messenger and Gwendolyn Rozenthall.
Kit: Kit Adames as Birdie Foundling and Vaus Foundling.
Cameron: Cameron Robertson as Emma Blackwood and Janus Foundling.
Sydney: Sydney Whittington as Cassidy Shard and Winifred Foundling.
Nick: Nick Robertson as GM and Narrator.
Sydney: Hello listeners, this is your editor, Sydney, with today’s messages:
Imagine a cat. Your cat, the cute cat at the bodega, the big murder cat with orange and black stripes at the zoo, just any cat. Now imagine you are giving that cat the most enthusiastic belly rubs, and instead of acting immediately to sever your hand at the wrist, they are rolling on their back in bliss at the attention, purring loudly (even if you picked a giant murder cat who made a barter with evolution and traded the ability to purr for the ability to roar). That’s how we, the cast, feel when you listen to our show, and we hope you get some of that comfort yourselves.
In fact, we appreciate you listening so much that we’ve released the next bonus full-length episode on our Patreon, featuring Marathon in her past days as an ice derby rookie, and her team of unknowns, as they compete for glory using the Spelljam game system, designed by Penn. Backing our Patreon gives you access to that new episode, our other bonus episodes, campfire conversations, and other fun rewards, including a current total of 69 blooper reels, which I’d say is a nice benefit.
And with that, we wrap up today’s announcements and head into Season 3, Episode 30: Define the Relationship. And so…
“Join us, for now our tale to yours attaches
To carry hope: a Knight of Shreds and Patches.”
[hurdy gurdy music ends]
[electronic beeping]
[robotic powerup noise begins]
Distorted Robotic Voice: Power restored. Systems online. Reconfiguring audio connection.
[robotic powerup noise fades to radio frequency static]
[over radio]
Cameron (as Emma): Last time on a Knight of Shreds and Patches, Juno got me and Marathon out of the Guts and then we did even more walking to get to Winifred’s house where Cassidy & Birdie were holed up. Happy to report that they didn’t kill each other in our absence, although they apparently did have some um, disagreements, but they’ve seemingly worked through that - for the moment at least. I’m really glad Marathon and I got some one on one time, but I think we’ll have to plan it out to be less dramatic next time - or maybe traumatic is a better word than dramatic. Anyway, happy to be the full Patina again and finally take a shower - even if I had to climb so many stairs to make it happen. After some well deserved time sleeping in, Marathon and I visited Councilor Opal and gave her the duplicate circuit key and got all our rewards for getting that job done. I feel a lot better knowing that it’s not going to blow up when she tries - or I guess when her people try to use it. Now to get the original back to Wander and hopefully upgrade some X-Bikes with our new parts from Opal.
[radio static]
Episode Start:
Nick: The wind is cold. It doesn't blow quite hard enough to howl around your ears, but it's just below that threshold. Marathon and Cassidy, you are climbing a ladder that has been bolted to the side of stacked shipping containers, up out of the upper parts of the Stacks and into the Eaves - the interconnected gang planks and rope bridges and spires that make the tallest reaches of Sasnak Traveling. The sky is a clear blue and the city is rumbling far below as you climb ever higher, as you are preparing to have a conversation that Marathon you've been wanting to have for quite a while.
Penn: Marathon reaches the top of the ladder to the Crow's Nest and before pulling herself up, checks back down to make sure Cassidy is following all right.
Penn (as Marathon): How do you - what do you think of the height so far?
Sydney: Cassidy has been proceeding upward. She has her climbing harness on, and she's been sliding along the hand rails with a short loop from a quick draw just to make sure if a slip happened, it'd be fine - not fully tied into anything, but like normal, careful levels of tree climbing. She looks like she's enjoying having the wind in her hair and being this high up as the sounds of the city have faded away far below them into just the wind and the birds high above.
Sydney (as Cassidy): This is pretty fun.
Penn (as Marathon): Right? I thought when, as soon as, as soon as Birdie showed me, I thought this was gonna be a good spot.
Penn: And Marathon clambers up into the Crow's Nest, being a little cautious to make sure she's grounded as she does.
Sydney: Cassidy comes up after Marathon clears the final ladder, unhooks from the railing next to the ladder, hooks on to the railing on the top part and then hangs her feet over the edge. It is probably a similar level of nonchalantness to that which Birdie showed, but more from trusting gear than a lifelong familiarity.
Penn: Marathon, meanwhile, is white knuckling the railing as the wind breezes through her choppy mullet.
Sydney (as Cassidy): I offered you a harness.
Penn (as Marathon): Yeah, no, and as soon as I - would you, would you be willing to teach me how to use it? I was a little embarrassed.
Sydney (as Cassidy): Sure. But we could have done that before we got this high up.
Penn (as Marathon): I was trying to be impressive again, but I will not do that next time. But that's okay. I'm comfortable up here.
Penn: Marathon lets go with one hand, and that hand hovers above the railing still before settling back on.
Sydney (as Cassidy): Well be safe.
Penn (as Marathon): I mean, of course. What's the worst that could happen up here? A third Turning this month? [nervous laugh]
Penn: And Marathon nervously chuckles.
Sydney (as Cassidy): You could just trip and fall off without that. It's pretty windy.
Penn (as Marathon): Yeah. [clears throat] No uh [short throat clear], I, yeah, I um, yeah no. I'm pretty sure footed up here. I've been up here before, you know.
Sydney (as Cassidy): Yeah, but like, in case the ground decides to open up under yo or anything again.
Penn (as Marathon): I will hold on very tight with my strong grip.
Penn: And she takes a moment to take in the sights up above Sasnak again, looking over at the billboards, some shining, some rusted and the ramshackle constructions of the Eaves directly under them.
Sydney: At the memory of Marathon falling down a hole, Cassidy's mood had darkened a little bit, but she closes her eyes and lets the wind blow in her hair.
Penn (as Marathon): Yeah, um, I don't know if I, I mean, feel like my mood said it, but I, I wanted to say sorry again for kind of panicking in the Guts a little bit before the hole. Before the hole.
Sydney (as Cassidy): I - there was a lot going on.
Penn (as Marathon): Yeah. How are how are you feeling after all that?
Sydney (as Cassidy): We have some things to talk about as a group before we go on the next high risk job, but I'm glad we're not dead.
Penn (as Marathon): Yeah definitely me too.
Penn: And Marathon in her brain realizes that this is not the way to prod right now.
Penn (as Marathon): So me and Emma got to walk a lot though and talk, which was nice.
Sydney (as Cassidy): Good.
Penn (as Marathon): Yeah, and um, you know, talked about some stuff and helped me kind of figure out I um was wondering Cassidy, what - obvi- and obviously, you know, maybe this wasn't the best - okay, I - let me start by, I didn't mean to trap you up here, um, feel free to like leave, but also,
Sydney: Cassidy has turned to make level eye contact with Marathon.
Penn (as Marathon): Uh,
Penn: And Marathon gets kind of blushy.
Penn (as Marathon): I was wondering how you wanted, if you wanted, to define the relationship we have. I mean, I really enjoy hanging out with you and taking you on cute dates is a lot of fun, but um, sometimes I'm a little confused.
Sydney (as Cassidy): You need space to go chase Dr. Tawny Fowler and Winifred and -?
Penn (as Marathon): Well, I'm just like a flirty person, but like I -
Sydney (as Cassidy): I mean, you can be a flirty person.
Penn (as Marathon): Yeah I - and that's what I want to talk to you about, is like, where, where is your boundary there? Like, what are you comfortable, slash uncomfortable with? Because I want to, want to respect, like, your feelings and all this like, I don't - I'm not - I don't need to be chasing Tawny Fowler or Winifred or anything. I just thought, you know, it was fun to flirt around, but if - I also understand if that's something you're uncomfortable with, if you feel like, are we like steady? I genuinely like, I know - I think you like me because -
Sydney (as Cassidy): I do.
Penn (as Marathon): Okay, okay, cool, um, I don't know. I just, I'm just a little confused as to where - what you see this as and you don't, like I said, you can also just go down the ladder, and I'll stay here for a little bit, if that's what you feel most comfortable doing right now. I didn't mean to trap you.
Penn: And Marathon lets out a deep breath, and her face has gotten really red, and she is a little sweaty and almost forgotten about her fear of heights before this little silent second, and then her grip re-tightens on the railing.
Sydney (as Cassidy): I mean, what are you looking - like if we are defining a relationship between the two of us, like you are also allowed to want things. It doesn't all have to be what Cassidy wants. Like, what does Marathon want?
Penn (as Marathon): Um,
Sydney (as Cassidy): Does Marathon want to name it and go, you know, we're going on dates, but we're or we're partners, or we're girlfriends, or we're crewmates?
Penn (as Marathon): I don't think I'm there yet, but I mean -
Sydney (as Cassidy): There to which?
Penn (as Marathon): There to partners, girlfriends, I don't know. It's like, I feel if you wanted to go steady, I would definitely be interested in that. I would love to pursue something more serious with you, but also I'm happy with something casual. I just would like to know and and in any of those courses, like, what are you if, if you're uncomfortable with me talking about or to somebody like Tawny Fowler, in the, you know, in the way I was, even though I was, you know, not totally in my right mind, I would, I just want to know, like, I don't want to, I don't want to be confused and then get hurt because I'm hurting you, and I didn't know, you know what I mean?
Sydney (as Cassidy): Hmm. I don't - so I guess something that I noticed that would maybe affect this is when you had opinions about the way the party should be led and run down in the Guts, I maybe took more of your opinion under consideration than I than I should have, and that feels like a lapse of judgment in my part and I'm, I don't, I don't want to hurt either of us or the others who are not in this conversation by not, I don't know, I don't want to say impartial, like I want to - I want to keep everyone safe.
Penn (as Marathon): I mean, you can still be leader Cassidy and keep that separate, like we can have different decorum on a mission. But I am also, like, if that is a concern that you're having with this, I completely understand. Like, I want to prioritize our friendship, our relationship as a team, almost like a family, first. So if that's your concern, like I, yeah, I I'm comfortable with whatever you're comfortable with. I'm up for something more serious. I'm up for something more laid back. I'm up for something not defined if you need more time, I just, I just don't like the confusion of it, you know, the the -
Sydney (as Cassidy): Sure.
Penn (as Marathon): To use a Cassidy-ism, I need to know the plan.
Sydney (as Cassidy): [laugh] Well do you need to know the plan or do you need to know the current facts?
Penn (as Marathon): I guess I just want to be most prepared for whatever situation plays out.
Penn: Marathon gives a little grin and bumps Cassidy a little bit.
Sydney: Cassidy reaches into one of the bigger pockets in her pants and pulls out two cookies that match what the morning's Nona bakery contribution were and offers one up to Marathon.
Sydney (as Cassidy): Snack?
Penn: Marathon grabs one with a sweaty, shaky hand.
Penn (as Marathon): Thank you.
Sydney: And Cassidy goes through three bites of cookie before saying anything.
Sydney (as Cassidy): I mean, I'm down - like I like you. I enjoy spending time together. I - I mean what is, what is being more serious mean to you? Because we're already spending a lot of time together, because -
Penn (as Marathon): Are you comfortable when I flirt with other people?
Sydney (as Cassidy): I mean,
Sydney: Cassidy shrugs.
Penn (as Marathon): So shrug, I'm just gonna - is that, so you can be totally honest, because it's, it's not like something that's going to affect my like happiness to not do, you know? It'll probably actually keep me from getting in less messes.
Sydney (as Cassidy): I mean, I guess I'm not enthusiastic about it. I don't know. If it's something that's important to you, fine.
Penn (as Marathon): Not necessarily.
Sydney (as Cassidy): I'm going to keep asking you your questions back. What what do you - if you had your way, what would the plan be?
Penn (as Marathon): Um, let's see. [thinking breath] Keeping it pretty casual for a while and then discussing maybe some more seriousness if this is still going well and isn't conflicting with your values or how you're working, maybe revisiting it in a little bit and then,
Sydney (as Cassidy): Like, what are, what is, what is casual and serious? Do we need to go dig out the other harness? Is that the mark of serious?
Penn (as Marathon): Um, hmm. [surprised but not uninterested]
Sydney (as Cassidy): Like that, if -
Penn (as Marathon): I'd like to go study with you, I think.
Sydney (as Cassidy): Okay, what does that mean, though?
Penn (as Marathon): Oh, I mean, it's like you're locked in with this person for and you're doing like, a like, it's like you're not necessarily dating yet, but it's kind of dating. It's like -
Sydney (as Cassidy): We're going on dates, but
Penn (as Marathon): Going on dates -
Sydney (as Cassidy): Is this -
Penn (as Marathon): - exclusively.
Sydney (as Cassidy): - a lot of - I don't, if you're, if we're defining the relationship and we're, we're putting it in terms of kind of casual as a formal term that doesn't, I don't, I don't know that -
Penn (as Marathon): This is the most Cassidy way to have this conversation. I'm into it, though. Um. Yeah, I'm a little too go with the flowy, I guess to -
Sydney (as Cassidy): I don't know. I yeah, I guess, sorry, I'm I'm too direct for this, or too I'm not looking for ambiguity, like if we want to change, if we're looking for something above 'goes on cute dates sometimes' discard the whatever terminology, because it's going to be different for every given pair of people and in every city. Just what, I don't know, what, how do, how do you want - if you want more things, here is your chance to voice your desire. I am I would be down for entertaining types of desires.
Penn: Marathon has a thinking face on looking up at the clouds.
Sydney: Cassidy's cheeks are pink.
Penn (as Marathon): Something I would like someday is a loving partnership and I guess what this means to me is kind of pursuing that one step at a time, and I don't totally know exactly what that means, so I'm sorry I don't have all the parameters for that, but like, if you gave me the opportunity, I would like to work towards falling in love with you. I already do love you as, like, you know, friend, Patina member, family, but that's what I'm thinking. I don't know. Does that make sense, Cassidy?
Sydney (as Cassidy): I mean, I think so. I I mean, the way that I see my life going right now is that I have a responsibility to make sure the Knight is used for good things, and that means that I am attached to the rig and the Patina. That's not to say that there's not space for you and whatever that shape means, because obviously you're here already. But,
Penn (as Marathon): And I wouldn't ask you to reassess that. I I understand that your your Patina priority. Maybe my priority can be making sure Cassidy's being used for good things.
Sydney (as Cassidy): Seems like a net gain then.
Penn (as Marathon): Mathematically, of course.
Sydney (as Cassidy): Mhm.
Penn (as Marathon): Well, I'm real sweaty, but I like you lots, and I look forward to liking you more.
Sydney (as Cassidy): You can get off the high thing so that you cannot be freaking out, and then I can kiss you.
Penn (as Marathon): I don't think I'm freaking out so much anymore.
Sydney (as Cassidy): Well, don't lean over, because [laugh]
Sydney: Cassidy stands up and plants her hands behind her on the railing and stands in front of Marathon.
Penn: Then Marathon puts her hands on the opposite sides of the railing of Cassidy and leans in to give her a blushy, sweaty kiss.
Sydney: The moment passes quickly before Cassidy pulls away and goes,
Sydney (as Cassidy): We should get down out of here, because I'm starting to be nervous for you.
Penn (as Marathon): [gasp] Do you feel rumble?
Sydney (as Cassidy): No~.
Penn: And Marathon gives a shocked face before a little devilish smirk.
Sydney: Cassidy draws her lips back in annoyance.
Sydney (as Cassidy): Marathon.
Penn (as Marathon): I'm just, I'm just joshing.
Sydney (as Cassidy): You've, you've, there's been too many falls lately. Let's give it like three more months without falling, and then we can make the jokes again.
Penn (as Marathon): Copy.
Sydney (as Cassidy): You were right though. I - it is, this is cool. I liked being up here.
Penn: And Marathon beams a little bit before following Cassidy down the ladder.
Nick: And as Cassidy and Marathon climb back down from their private conversation at a height, we see Birdie and Emma making their way towards a very different kind of conversation as they stand contemplating the front of Wander's office. The two of them are out front in the street looking up at the window where presumably Wander is sitting.
Kit: I'm assuming that on the way here, Birdie and Emma had a conversation about what all happened in very specific terms. So Birdie looking up at the window and going,
Kit (as Birdie): So circuit key, and that's - we're just, we're just turning in the circuit key, right?
Cameron (as Emma): Mhmm. Yep. Turning in the real one.
Kit (as Birdie): Okay.
Kit: As Birdie and Emma enter Wander's building, Birdie gets less and less fidgety, I think, in preparation to present as composed of a front as she can, because she knows that Wander will be happy to prey on any weakness she shows.
Cameron: As they're approaching the door to head into Wander's office, Emma says,
Cameron (as Emma): I wonder how Marathon and Cassidy's conversation is going.
Kit (as Birdie): Um. [long exhale] I don't know. I mean, I'm hoping it goes really well for them, but I'm not exactly - I think Marathon was really nervous.
Cameron (as Emma): Mhm.
Kit (as Birdie): So I'm really kind of hoping more for Marathon that it goes well. [laughing]
Cameron (as Emma): I am sending Marathon so many good vibes right now. All the best wishes.
Kit (as Birdie): Okay.
Cameron (as Emma): Anyway, that was to distract me. We should go in.
Kit (as Birdie): Yeah, okay. Get ready for vague threats, I guess.
Kit: And she'll open the door.
Cameron (as Emma): Oh my favorite kind.
Nick: You approach the side of the building where there's the staircase leading up and Birdie, you see the shadow of the ever present guard at the entrance to Wander's office, and you're prepared to give the password and be interrogated, but the guard doesn't move. They just let you go up because you've been here enough, you figure that they must recognize you at this point, and you're not quite sure how to feel about that. The hallway is unchanged. The dusty light leads straight to the office of Wander, and before you make it to the door, you hear Wander's voice from inside saying,
Nick (as Wander): Come in.
Kit: Birdie will go in with Emma in tow.
Nick: Wander is seated at the desk almost as if he hasn't moved since the last time you were here quite a while ago, and he has his feet up on his desk and his arms crossed. He's leaning back in his chair, looking in your direction, but also up towards the ceiling. He smiles at you both as you come in, showing his filed, pointed teeth.
Nick (as Wander): You're finally back.
Kit (as Birdie): Yes, apologies for the wait, but we had quite an interesting time in the Guts, as I'm sure you'd expect and probably saw.
Nick (as Wander): Uh~, I'll give you this one for free. My knowledge of the Guts is not as strong as the rest of the city. It used to be much more comprehensive, but lately someone has been blocking my surveillance efforts. It's inconvenient. That's why - part of why - I sent you down there was because my normal associates didn't have the intelligence.
Kit (as Birdie): Hm.
Nick (as Wander): But I hear things. I'm glad to see that everybody seems to have made it back alive. Looked for a little while like that would not be the case.
Kit: Birdie prickles a little bit, but will take a seat if there's an open one in Wander's office.
Nick: Yeah, they're the same chairs from last time Birdie, the incredibly and distractingly uncomfortable ones, but Wander gestures magnanimously for the two of you to sit.
Nick (as Wander): So I believe you have something for me.
Kit (as Birdie): Yes, and I believe that we agreed on seven triangles and the citizenship?
Nick (as Wander): Wow, that's a lot. You really took me for all I was worth, didn't you? You're so good at negotiating.
Kit (as Birdie): Thank you.
Kit: And she'll pull out the circuit key to remind him what he's waiting for.
Nick: Wander has plucked a pen off his desk and is fiddling with it between his fingers before setting it down with a clack and opening a drawer. He pulls out a small wallet that has triangles tucked into it and slides it across the desk towards you all. All of this is done without him removing his feet from the desk, showing a surprising amount of flexibility.
Nick (as Wander): Well, there's your payment. Have you decided who the citizenship will be for?
Kit: Birdie will nod to Emma and smile.
Kit (as Birdie): Um we decided on my compatriot here, who - I'll let her reintroduce herself to you.
Cameron: Emma does a little short wave.
Cameron (as Emma): Emma Blackwood, but you probably already knew that, and I can give you any other information necessary for it.
Nick (as Wander): This should be relatively painless.
Nick: And he kicks himself to his feet, sliding his chair back, and walks towards one of the walls next to the desk. He points towards what looks like a chalk outline square on the floor and says,
Nick (as Wander): If you could stand there, please.
Cameron: Emma walks over and stands where he has directed her.
Nick: He presses into the wall, and you see a light up panel appear, and he presses a few buttons and a grid of lasers comes down from the ceiling and scans you all over in the course of eight or nine seconds. And just as your skin is starting to heat up, it stops. Wander pulls a small FOB out of the panel in the wall, and takes it back to his desk before touching it to what appears to be a note card or some sort of ID, and a scroll of information starts to go over the plastic before he picks it up, looks at it, flicks it with a finger, with a hollow noise, and then puts it back on the desk and slides it back across and says,
Nick (as Wander): You're good, Emma. Thank you. This should pass most inspections. Get you anywhere you need to go. Just probably don't hold it up to anyone too knowledgeable, would be my advice.
Nick: And before even seeing if you take it, he's held his hand out for the circuit key and is making little grabby gestures with one hand.
Cameron: Emma walks back over to the desk and picks up the card and puts it into her bra where everything else important goes.
Kit: Birdie will hold out the circuit key with one hand and in another hand hold out her hand for the pouch so that it can be a fair, well timed trade.
Nick: He picks it up and is about to hand it to you, and then pulls it back to himself and puts his chin in his hand and says,
Nick (as Wander): Actually, how did Opal react to you getting that circuit key over to her? I'm curious about how that went.
Cameron (as Emma): We dropped it off for her after we got back, while some folks were healing up. She accepted it. She didn't seem to notice anything off with it. I don't I don't know if she'd ever seen that one in person, but it matched all the schematics she gave us, and she was happy with it.
Nick (as Wander): Interesting. Did she give you any other work?
Cameron (as Emma): Not yet.
Nick (as Wander): Besides you being her X bike team, of course.
Cameron (as Emma): No, no other jobs. The X bike thing, that goes without saying.
Nick (as Wander): I wonder what she's up to. Do you have any guesses what her end objective might be? I do so value the two of yours opinions. You've worked with her much more closely than a majority of the people I get to talk to.
Kit (as Birdie): I'd prefer if we completed our trade first before we discussed any more information that may lead to future jobs.
Nick: He smiles a little to himself and says,
Nick (as Wander): Oh yes, of course. Forgive an old man his musings.
Nick: And does the exchange with you of triangles for the circuit key.
Kit (as Birdie): Well, I don't believe she was very open, from what I remember with her plans for the circuit key, unless Emma she revealed some great plan to you while you were there?
Cameron (as Emma): Nothing specific to a great plan. I don't know if she so much had a plan for it, as she didn't want you to have it, sir, but we could find out differently with whatever job we're given next, but
Nick (as Wander): Yes, she's she's up to something. I don't know what it is, but I would like to know, and I would pay quite handsomely - I believe I've established that about myself, if you were to find out -
Kit (as Birdie): Her plans for the circuit key, specifically, or her plans in general?
Nick (as Wander): The circuit key, I imagine she just hopes to smuggle much as I've been doing. Uh she's moving on something. I don't know exactly what she hopes to achieve, because I struggle to think the way she does. It's illogical.
Kit (as Birdie): She's a bit frivolous.
Nick (as Wander): If you're able to intuit what her end goal is, besides my death, embarrassment, and dismemberment, I would -
Kit (as Birdie): [small laugh] In that order?
Nick (as Wander): Exactly in that order. I would, I would value your opinion as troubleshooters and contractors.
Kit (as Birdie): It's quite risky for us to spy on someone we're already double crossing, Wander.
Nick: He gives a little shrug.
Nick (as Wander): At this point Birdie, everything that you choose to do here in the city is risky, to an extent. I would, of course, compensate you for any sort of risk. Mostly, I'm curious what you intend to do next. You are officially an X bike team with Opal. Why~ why are you doing that?
Kit (as Birdie): For someone so willing to pay for information, I'm not going to let you have that for free.
Nick (as Wander): What do you want? Surely not just more money. You have enough to cover expenses for the foreseeable future. Money's so boring.
Kit (as Birdie): This one's off the table. I need to discuss it with my group before giving you anything more than that, of course.
Nick (as Wander): That's fine. You know where to find me.
Nick: He looks like he's already starting to dismiss you.
Nick (as Wander): What I will say - something to speak to your compatriots about, I would be willing to pay you more than Opal is paying to throw your next X Bike race. I would like to see you lose.
Kit (as Birdie): And what gain would that have for me, considering that there's no reason for me to not win?
Nick: Go ahead and roll me a Negotiation check at hard difficulty, please.
Kit: So that will be rolling three yellow against three purple. Two successes and two advantages.
Nick (as Wander): If you were to lose that race, I would be willing to give you limited access to my intelligence network. I could get you additional information that you might need, which with you and the Foundlings and all the questions you're asking, I'm sure there is in fact, some information that you would need from us. I could also offer you money, of course. It's boring, but it's doable. And more interestingly, I can still ensure that you end up in the X Bike Championship next month, even with a loss.
Kit (as Birdie): Could I ask how?
Nick (as Wander): No.
Nick: He smiles at you and shakes his head a little. He looks pleased with himself at that one.
Nick (as Wander): You just have to trust me on that one, but it would happen.
Kit (as Birdie): I'm sure you understand that you're a hard man to trust.
Nick (as Wander): I don't understand that at all. Have I done anything untrustworthy to this point? I've not lied. I've paid you, as I agreed.
Kit (as Birdie): It's not so much as your action, but your reputation.
Nick (as Wander): Mm. Reputation created mostly by those who've lost. I'd put it in writing, which would be pretty inflammatory for both of us, but that would be a sort of mutually assured destruction if I was to go against the deal.
Kit (as Birdie): [thinking sigh] Considering your offer for getting information out of Opal and her plans, as well as the offer of throwing the match, are both things that I would like to discuss with our full group, if I can promise you an answer by let's say 48 hours, would that be acceptable?
Nick (as Wander): That would indeed be quite acceptable. I'm a patient man.
Kit (as Birdie): Of course. Then I shall have your answer for you in 48 hours.
Nick (as Wander): Lovely. As always, it's the most interesting of times doing business with you and the Patina, Birdie. And Emma, enjoy your citizenship. It comes with all sorts of perks and responsibilities that I'm sure you will discover quickly.
Cameron (as Emma): That is both exciting and threatening. Well it's not threatening - concerning. That is both exciting and concerning.
Nick (as Wander): Much about this city is both exciting and concerning. It's why I love it here.
Cameron (as Emma): I have noticed that about it, yes.
Nick (as Wander): Oh um, before you go, one last question. Birdie, did you and Cassidy ever work out whatever disagreement you had just outside the Guts? It was quite loud.
Kit: Birdie works her jaw a little and smiles,
Kit (as Birdie): [annoyed laughter] We're doing just fine. Thank you.
Nick (as Wander): That's good to hear. I would hate to hear of any division amongst my favorite mercenary team in the city.
Kit (as Birdie): Oh, you know, every mission has its bumps.
Nick (as Wander): So I hear and yet your most recent one, I ended up with my circuit key, you ended up with your money, there's promise of additional work. Very few bumps. I'm very impressed.
Kit (as Birdie): Yes.
Nick (as Wander): I just would hate to see such a relationship torn apart under the stress of this town. If you need any advice on relationships, I'm happy to offer my services.
Nick: He cannot keep a straight face saying that.
Kit (as Birdie): I appreciate the offer. If that's all, I think Emma and I should make our way back.
Nick (as Wander): All right, I will stand by for the 48 hours and expect to hear from you then.
Kit: Birdie will nod with finality and leave before he can say any more vague threats.
Cameron: Emma does a little salute on her way out and says,
Cameron (as Emma): Have a nice day.
Nick: Wander appears to have almost forgotten that you all were here as you leave and shut the door. He's back to fiddling around with stuff on his desk and seems to be muttering to himself, but you can't make out what he says. You're able to leave the office and make it back down to the street without anyone bothering you or getting in your way.
Kit (as Birdie): Emma, he's so freaky. I need a cronut to help me wear it off.
Cameron (as Emma): That that does seem like a reasonable reason to need a cronut.
Kit (as Birdie): I said walking in, prepare yourself for vague threats.
Cameron (as Emma): Yeah.
Kit (as Birdie): And what did he do? Give me vague threats. That's all I can - whatever. Okay -
Cameron (as Emma): That's what he did the first time too.
Kit (as Birdie): I know.
Cameron (as Emma): Just kind of seems to be his thing.
Kit (as Birdie): [sigh] Okay well, I hope that Cassidy and Marathon haven't imploded, and will - we can just have cronuts to bring back, and it'll be okay.
Cameron (as Emma): Yeah, we can, we can bring them cronuts and they can either be celebratory uh they actually know what's going on in their relationship cronuts, or um eat your feelings cronuts.
Kit (as Birdie): I'm sure they'll, I'm sure that it'll be something of the first variety, but I will also say I need to, I need to uh~ - what's a good way to say this? Butter Cassidy up so that I can explain to her that we got an offer to throw the match that we otherwise really needed to win and I have no proof of why I need to do this, except for trust Wander, which I'm sure will go great with her right now, so
Cameron (as Emma): Maybe she'll be elated from her conversation with Marathon and
Kit (as Birdie): Yeah, maybe it will have gone so well.
Cameron (as Emma): It'll go super smoothly for you.
Kit (as Birdie): Huh. Doesn't help that - I should just, I just won't even tell her that Wander, saw or overheard or surveilled us arguing. Just not even gonna say anything.
Cameron (as Emma): How loud were y'all that he commented on it?
Kit (as Birdie): Um. Well~
Cameron (as Emma): Juno looked pretty traumatized too, actually, when they ran into us.
Kit (as Birdie): Juno didn't even see most - the actual end of it.
Cameron (as Emma): Oh, okay.
Kit (as Birdie): Well, I mean, all you really need to know is that we yelled fuck you, fuck you too, meh and that was it. So it's like, you know, it wasn't like, insane, but
Cameron (as Emma): Okay, so -
Kit (as Birdie): It was just loud. It was just louder than
Cameron (as Emma): [giggle] - just normal Birdie, Cassidy conversations then?
Kit (as Birdie): Yeah, it wasn't the worst. Nothing we couldn't come back from, and that me forcing Cassidy to give me a hug, wouldn't fix. Would fix? I don't remember how I started the sentence.
Cameron (as Emma): That's that's fair.
Kit (as Birdie): I need a cronut. My grammar is going. Soon it's gonna be my walking and -
Cameron (as Emma): That is how you know that you really need a cronut, is when you start losing track of grammar.
Kit (as Birdie): Yeah.
Cameron (as Emma): That's a big symptom there.
Kit (as Birdie): To Rosa's for cronuts!
Nick: So Birdie and Emma, you're able to track down where Marathon and Cassidy went, and you find yourselves walking into a bar that is up towards the top of the Stacks called the Shooters and Ladders. Birdie, you're very familiar with this bar, as the Foundlings used to hang out there all the time. And as you enter holding a large bag of cronuts, Cassidy and Marathon, where are you set up in this bar?
Penn: There's a dart board near the back of the bar, a few dart boards I'm sure, and Marathon as just lining up her next shot in a failing effort against Cassidy so far. She's got her tongue stuck out and one eye closed as she's focused.
Penn (as Marathon): [annoyed noise] Damn another two!
Sydney (as Cassidy): Well, you're on the board.
Penn (as Marathon): That's true.
Penn: And Cassidy steps up close to the line and then underhands a dart which lands on the outer ring of the bullseye.
Penn (as Marathon): What the dirt? What-?
Sydney (as Cassidy): I -
Penn (as Marathon): Very impressive.
Sydney (as Cassidy): I spent -
Penn (as Marathon): Very impressive.
Sydney (as Cassidy): - like, six months sitting and throwing knives at a board in Eagle Hill. This is transferable skills.
Penn (as Marathon): Well, you made it, so I guess you drink.
Sydney (as Cassidy): Oh is that how it works?
Sydney: And Cassidy takes a big swig of her beer.
Penn: Marathon gives a cheesy grin before noticing the rest of the Patina members entering the bar.
Penn (as Marathon): Oh!
Penn: And she makes a big wave.
Penn (as Marathon): We're back here!
Kit: There's three people in this dive bar, [laughing] two of them being Cassidy and Marathon. Birdie will walk over, trailing behind Emma, purposefully trying to crush all the peanut shells that aren't all the way crushed on the floor under her boot toes.
Kit (as Birdie): Hey guys. We brought cronuts. Hey Sal, how are you?
Kit: And she'll wave at the bartender.
Nick: Bartender has a brow so low it almost looks like it's touching his chin, and he is polishing the bar and gives a grumble and flicks the towel in your direction before going back to whatever he was doing.
Kit (as Birdie): Missed you too, Sal.
Penn (as Marathon): Cassidy's just whooping my ass at darts back here.
Kit (as Birdie): That makes sense.
Cameron (as Emma): Well, yeah. She spent like six months doing this in Eagle Hill.
Sydney (as Cassidy): That's what I told Marathon!
Cameron (as Emma): [laugh] Yeah.
Penn (as Marathon): Well, I thought I could, you know, I,
Sydney (as Cassidy): I mean, I'd take the opportunity to throw some stuff, but
Cameron (as Emma): You just gotta do a better job at distracting her, Marathon.
Penn (as Marathon): I just thought I could do it.
Sydney: Cassidy takes another sip of her beer.
Sydney (as Cassidy): I mean, give me, like, I don't know, two more of these, and you'll be beating me in no time.
Penn (as Marathon): I mean, every time she hits the board, she's got a drink, so that's how it's equalizing for me eventually.
Kit (as Birdie): [giggle]
Cameron (as Emma): I mean, we - she'd also play darts whenever we went out to our normal bar hang out, so, um,
Sydney (as Cassidy): There was this waitress at the bar.
Kit (as Birdie): Oh~.
Penn (as Marathon): And she challenged you to darts?
Cameron (as Emma): No, she was really impressed with Cassidy's skill, though.
Kit (as Birdie): Oh, really?
Cameron (as Emma): Mhm.
Penn (as Marathon): That makes two of us.
Sydney (as Cassidy): So I I guess you got paid, I assume?
Kit (as Birdie): Yep.
Kit: And Birdie will set the bag of cronuts down to start on her second one of the afternoon.
Kit (as Birdie): Yeah, yeah, we did. And we got, you know, kind of some, some more work maybe possibly.
Sydney (as Cassidy): Do we need to save this conversation for when we're back?
Kit: Birdie will look over her shoulder at Sal and shrug and then look back at Cassidy.
Kit (as Birdie): Sal is a great bartender, because he doesn't really talk much. I don't think he cares whatever we say over here.
Cameron (as Emma): Given the number of cameras in the city and the number of screens in a particular room though, I think it'd be wise to hold off.
Kit (as Birdie): Okay, well, well, we can eat.
Cameron (as Emma): Gives us more time to watch Cassidy beat Marathon at darts and eat cronuts.
Kit (as Birdie): Okay.
Penn (as Marathon): Well, now y'all haven't seen a Marathon comeback yet.
Cameron (as Emma): Okay.
Sydney (as Cassidy): It takes a really long time -
Kit (as Birdie): I'm pretty sure we have.
Sydney (as Cassidy): - see cause it's a marathon?
Kit (as Birdie): [giggle]
Cameron (as Emma): There's just a lot of build up.
Penn: And Marathon lines up a trick shot and tries to shoot one really quick, and it misses the board again and you can see now there are about five darts on the wall around the dart board.
Sydney (as Cassidy): Marathon.
Penn (as Marathon): I'm gonna get it!
Cameron (as Emma): If you need to start doing celebrity darts, let us know.
Sydney (as Cassidy): I mean, if you I guess, uh, sorry, here, hold on.
Sydney: And Cassidy puts her beer back down the table.
Sydney (as Cassidy): Do you need me to -
Sydney: And she demonstrates the hand technique.
Sydney (as Cassidy): - guide your hands and help you make sure that you're getting it right?
Penn (as Marathon): I mean, if you're offering, I would love a darts lesson from the acclaimed -
Kit (as Birdie): [under breath] Oh my god.
Penn (as Marathon): - Cassidy Shard.
Kit (as Birdie): [overlapping] Emma -
Cameron (as Emma): [overlapping] Birdie, I need another cronut. [giggle]
Kit (as Birdie): [overlapping] Let's go home~.
[Emma & Birdie laughing]
Sydney (as Cassidy): You can get a beer there too.
Kit (as Birdie): Blehhh~
Sydney (as Cassidy): Or I think, I think there's whiskey.
Cameron (as Emma): Ew.
Penn (as Marathon): Grab me a boulevardier.
Kit (as Birdie): Huh?
Penn (as Marathon): It's, it's my drink.
Nick: Sal does not respond to the order of a boulevardier.
Penn (as Marathon): [sad Marathon noises]
Nick: He's not even sure that was English or what that means.
Penn (as Marathon): Sorry, I meant scotch.
Nick: You get a glass of something that's wood colored slid down the bar to you.
Penn (as Marathon): This will be a good night.
Kit (as Birdie): Yeah~.
Kit: Birdie takes a handful of peanuts from a nearby barrel and starts shelling them and putting them in a little dish in the middle.
Sydney (as Cassidy): Here Birdie - throw one of those up in the air between me and the dartboard.
Kit (as Birdie): Uh~.
Penn (as Marathon): Whoa.
Kit (as Birdie): Okay, I'll count you off, okay? Okay. 3-2-1.
Kit: And Birdie will toss the peanut.
Sydney: I'm gonna roll a Light Attack roll.
Nick: Yeah so to hit this peanut, Cassidy, you will need to make a Light Attack roll, and it will be average difficulty, but it will be an upgraded difficulty because it is a tiny peanut in the dark of a bar, so that would be one purple and one red.
Sydney: In that case, with my Ranged Light skill, I am rolling four yellows and a green against one purple and one red.
[dice rolling]
Sydney: Three successes and three advantages.
Nick: Nice! You hit it.
Sydney: The dart spears the peanut shell and hits the double bulls eye on the far side. And then Cassidy quickly springs up to go put her hands underneath where the bottom of the shell falls off, and the now shelled peanuts fall into her hands.
Kit (as Birdie): Oh, come on! That's crazy.
Penn (as Marathon): Oh, my god, that was so hot.
Sydney (as Cassidy): I didn't expect the second one to happen, but I - or I didn't, I didn't expect to actually get the peanuts, but I saw that I hit it pretty clearly, so in case it was gonna happen, it was gonna look really cool.
Sydney: And she tosses one of the peanuts up into the air and catches it in her mouth.
Penn (as Marathon): God, I'm glad that waitress isn't here. Get this all to ourselves.
Cameron (as Emma): Yeah, she was annoying.
Kit (as Birdie): I want to try!
Sydney (as Cassidy): Here Marathon - open your mouth.
Penn (as Marathon): Ahh~.
Sydney: And Cassidy puts the other peanut from inside the shell into Marathon's mouth on a gentle toss.
Penn (as Marathon): Such a good shot.
Kit (as Birdie): Okay!
Kit: Birdie, very excitedly, will get up from the table, take a dart from whoever's pile, because it's gonna come straight out anyways, and she will wind back and ask Emma to throw her peanut for her.
Sydney: Cassidy quickly clears the alley where the darts are gonna be coming down.
Cameron (as Emma): All right. Ready?
Kit (as Birdie): Yep.
Penn (as Marathon): It's gonna be hard to beat her.
Kit (as Birdie): Okay~.
Cameron (as Emma): Okay. Luckily, she's not the one playing her at darts. 3-2-1 - peanut!
Kit: And Birdie will be rolling three yellows, one green, one red and one purple. Four successes. If they were arrows, they would have done the thing where it splits the other arrow down the bullseye. Birdie does not try to pick up the peanut shells, but she does manage to perfectly repeat Cassidy's move and the tip of her dart hits the end of Cassidy's bullseye and falls to the floor.
Sydney: Cassidy gives a small clap.
Cameron (as Emma): Dang Birdie.
Penn (as Marathon): Whatever.
Kit (as Birdie): Thank you. Thank you. You know throwing explosives will make you be good at throwing very precisely.
Cameron (as Emma): One would hope so.
Kit (as Birdie): Yes.
Sydney (as Cassidy): What about baseball, Emma? Is that precise or is that just power?
Kit (as Birdie): [giggle] I think it's both.
Cameron (as Emma): Uh~ combination, but way more focused on power than darts is. [laugh]
Sydney (as Cassidy): [laugh]
Cameron (as Emma): I don't think my skill sets translate the same.
Penn (as Marathon): Okay, but who wants to arm wrestle?
Sydney (as Cassidy): You, you guys arm wrestle and I'll drink my beer, and then we can go talk about news.
Cameron (as Emma): Can I finish my cronut first?
Penn (as Marathon): [laughing] I'm not forcing anybody to arm wrestle. Sorry.
Cameron (as Emma): I thought Cassidy was making us arm wrestle.
Sydney (as Cassidy): No. I mean, if you want to arm wrestle. I'm drinking my beer regardless. You are an adult with agency and the ability to make your own choices.
Kit (as Birdie): I'm not arm wrestling, but I will sit here and eat more peanuts.
Penn (as Marathon): Well, if nobody wants to arm wrestle me, I guess I'll shoot this last dart right into the bullseye!
Penn: And Marathon throws a dart and it hits the two once again.
Penn (as Marathon): Fuck.
Sydney (as Cassidy): Maybe we should play um minimum points, and all those twos will be like, worth a bunch. Well worth a little bit.
Penn (as Marathon): But then -
Cameron (as Emma): As soon as you, soon as you -
Sydney (as Cassidy): Valuable.
Cameron (as Emma): -change the rules -
Penn (as Marathon): Then you're still gonna win.
Cameron (as Emma): - she's gonna hit a different [laugh] section.
Kit (as Birdie): Yeah, that's just how luck works.
Penn (as Marathon): Well, I just found I just don't I just, I just need more darts lessons, I guess.
Penn: And Marathon looks at Cassidy and flutters her eyelashes.
Kit (as Birdie): [snort] Sorry.
Cameron (as Emma): So you just need to work on your finesse, Marathon?
Penn (as Marathon): I mean, I got lots of dexterity, I guess I just need somebody to help me hone it.
Kit (as Birdie): Oh~. [barf noise]
Cameron (as Emma): [overlapping] [snort] That's what we're - okay.
Sydney (as Cassidy): [overlapping] Is that what they're calling it these days?
Nick: And the Patina enjoys a quiet evening together, drinking and playing a lot of darts. And after they've all had as much as they want, they get to ride the slide down back into the Stacks that gives Shooters and Ladders its name, and the four of you head back to the shipping container to discuss what Wander's proposal was and what moves the Patina is going to make next.
Kit: Once they're back in the shipping container and settled in and have had some fun, nice times, giggling and laughing and having happiness, Birdie will decide that it's time to introduce what was spoken about at Wander's office.
Kit (as Birdie): So Cassidy and Marathon, we [sigh] - Wander had some suggestions as to what our next move may be while working with him. Something we talked about was getting some information out of Opal about her current plans, which I said was risky.
Penn (as Marathon): I don't know, that lady likes to talk.
Kit (as Birdie): Yeah, she does. I think it wouldn't be as hard as possible. It would have to be something that would - it would just have to be done very carefully, because we can't seem like we're being too nosy, of course. Or - and we can talk about it - he offered us to throw the match, the race, next time.
Sydney: Cassidy gives a long sigh at the discussion about to unfold.
[hurdy gurdy music swells]
Outro:
Penn (as Marathon): Welcome back folks, you’re tuned to Going the Distance: Traveler’s Guide on road dial 1558. That’s a wrap on today’s log and we’re set to loop after these considerations. Further detail for the following is cataloged in the show notes.
This has been A Knight of Shreds and Patches, an actual play podcast using the Genesys game system from Fantasy Flight Games. The show is edited by Sydney Whittington, and features the talents of:
Kit Adames as Birdie. Kit can be found on Twitter and Instagram @ venusvultures. Kit is also a voice actor for Elevator Pitch Podcast, a queer genre-hopping anthology podcast that can be accessed on Spotify and YouTube.
Penn Van Batavia as Marathon. She can be found on Twitter @ acquiredchaste and in drag as horror king JOHN on Instagram @ john.is.risen. Penn is an indie TTRPG designer whose most recent work includes SLICE IT OUT, a grisly carving RPG about cutting pieces of yourself out to fit in. Check out faer other work at pennharper.itch.io.
Sydney Whittington as Cassidy. Sydney can be found on our Discord server, which is linked in the show notes, and on Twitter @ sydney_whitt. She’s also a contributing editor and occasional guest player for the Orpheus Protocol, a cosmic horror espionage actual play podcast.
Cameron Robertson as Emma. Cameron can be found on Twitter @ midnightmusic13 and on Instagram @ reading_and_dreaming. Cameron is also a player on Tabletop Squadron, a Star Wars Edge of the Empire actual play podcast.
And Nick Robertson as narrator. Nick can be found on Twitter @ alias58. Nick is also the GM for Tabletop Squadron. Nick can also be found as a player on the Orpheus Protocol.
This podcast features the musical talents of Dora Violet and Arne Parrott. You can find Dora at facebook.com/doraviolett. You can find Arne at atptunes.com.
The official artwork for this podcast was created by Rashed AlAkroka, who can be found on Instagram and Artstation @ rashedjrs.
You can follow the Patina on Twitter @ akosap_podcast or visit the website: www.akosap.com. To further support the show, consider joining the Patreon at www.patreon.com/AKoSaP, where we’ll be bringing you weekly content including bonus episodes, campfire conversations, and other fun rewards.
Until you tune back…
…stay bold and stay kind
Comments